Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
