I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
