I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
