the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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