So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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