I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
