did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
