Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
