party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Too much gin, very little bucket
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
