how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
