Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
