i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
