well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
