I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you bring me the toilet please
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All the doctor said was why
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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