Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
