i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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