I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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