Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
