help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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