Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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