Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
