how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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