I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
