My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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