if i can run in heels then i can drive
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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