I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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