a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
