are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
