You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
