my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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