he shaved USA in his pubs
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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