Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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