So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
