So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
