I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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