my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
