Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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