God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
