you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
