Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
