I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
