I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
