South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
