Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
