I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We got so high we made milksteak
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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