ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
