Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
