Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
