Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
