I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
