just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
