i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
